<Ul> <Li> All Up In The Family--A black version of the 1970s CBS sitcom, All in the Family, which showed a black conservative Archie Bunker commenting on the ridiculousness of 1990s fads to his wife Edith . </Li> <Li> Bob Jackson, Karate Instructor--Jim Carrey plays a karate instructor, who claims to be a former world champion, teaching a self - defense class for women . He proceeds to get stabbed twice accidentally by Kelly Coffield while attempting to show how to defend against a knife attack, and is eventually unmasked as a fake by the other students in the class . </Li> <Li> The Buttmans--A family modeled after The Cosby Show characters, only they have buttocks on their foreheads . In one episode, their daughter brings home her boyfriend, Richard Dickerson, played by Jim Carrey, who has a very long nose that resembles a penis . The Buttmans fail to see the jokes directed at them, and in the episode where the daughter is dating, they comment on interracial relationships, rather than the fact his nose is uniquely shaped . </Li> <Li> Cape Rear - A parody of the 1991 Cape Fear remake (starring Nick Nolte and Robert DeNiro). This version focused on Arsenio Hall (Keenan Ivory Wayans) going to drastic measures to get close friend and fellow entertainer Eddie Murphy (Jamie Foxx) to appear on his hugely popular late - night talk show . </Li> <Li> The Capital Hillbillies--A parody of The Beverly Hillbillies with Bill Clinton, played by Jim Carrey . </Li> <Li> Career Aid--A parody of "We Are the World", with cast members mocking artists from the original song lamenting about their stardom passing them by . While Ray Charles is among the artists lampooned, it is David Alan Grier who plays the singer rather than Jamie Foxx, who would win an Academy Award for his portrayal of Charles in the film Ray . Foxx is Lionel Richie in the sketch . </Li> <Li> Chris Rock For Anonymous Express--Shawn Wayans portrays comic Chris Rock . In the sketch, the character of Chris Rock says white people do not recognize him on Saturday Night Live . When a security guard asks Rock to leave the NBC studios, Rock shows his I.D. and the guard says he has never appeared on Saturday Night Live . One future SNL alumna, Molly Shannon, briefly appears as one of the visitors . </Li> <Li> Cousin Elsee--Kim Wayans plays an annoying and unattractive woman who bothers everyone she meets . In an episode which showed a funeral, she appears saying that this is her fourth funeral today, and that the last funeral was catered by Taco Bell . </Li> <Li> Dickie Peterson: Cherub of Justice--Jim Carrey plays a Guardian Angels reject who attempts to protect local businesses (and, in one sketch, a visiting off - camera President of the United States), but who usually causes more harm than he prevents . </Li> <Li> Deboner 2000--Carol Rosenthal plays Lorena Bobbitt in a mock knife infomercial where she is brutally chopping phallic looking food and related items (pants, boxer shorts, and a gamecock). </Li> <Li> Family Feud--The Jacksons face off against The Royal Family in a fictional episode of the game . Ray Combs, host of Family Feud at the time, is the emcee . </Li> <Li> Ghost II: Sammy's Visit--T'Keyah Keymah portrays Whoopi Goldberg (in character as Oda Mae Brown) in a spoof of the 1990 hit film Ghost and Tommy Davidson portraying Sammy Davis Jr., who comes back from Heaven, to reunite with his wife Altovise (Kim Wayans). </Li> <Li> Go On Girl--A feminism show hosted by Shawanda Harvey (T'Keyah Crystal Keymáh). </Li> <Li> Grace Jones--Kim Wayans parodies the actress as an extremely physical enthusiast of any activity (the sketch was not so much a spoof of Jones, but more so her characters Zula from the film Conan The Destroyer and May Day from the James Bond film A View to a Kill), whether be it fighting an alligator for her dinner or pro wrestling, while regularly asking "Do you find me sexy?". One parody involves the movie The Bodyguard in which Grace Jones plays the Whitney Houston character and Jim Carrey plays Kevin Costner complete with bad hair, and when Kevin Costner carries Whitney Houston off - stage in the original movie, the scene is reversed with Grace Jones carrying Frank Farmer off while singing "I Will Always Love You". </Li> <Li> Hawaii Five - O--Jim Carrey plays McGarrett in a parody of the long - running police drama . </Li> <Li> Hemorrhoid Patient--David Alan Grier is a patient who shows up at a hospital multiple times and is constantly in the care of Nurse Peggy (Anne - Marie Johnson) and is placed on a gurney and temporarily left unattended while leaning forward with his gown undone, leaving his hemorrhoid exposed for anyone to get a glance at it . One group of people were Japanese tourists who stood next to the hemorrhoid and got their pictures taken with it . Others like rambunctious children prodding at it, a heart patient whom laughed himself to death after seeing it, and was broadcast live for a local news channel . Cheap Pete (Chris Rock) makes a cameo and exclaims, "Good Lord, that's a might big hemorrhoid!". </Li> <Li> Home Alone Again (fictional preview)--A send - up of both the hit film and star Macaulay Culkin's friendship with singer Michael Jackson . Jonathan Taylor Thomas plays Culkin, who plays various pranks on Jackson (Tommy Davidson) who wants to come in and play with Culkin . The pranks include shooting him in the crotch and burning his hand and hair (reminiscent of a real - life injury Jackson sustained while filming a Pepsi commercial in 1984). </Li> <Li> The Honeymooners' 93 - A black and white parody of the 50s sitcom, but with the characters using hip - hop references . Ralph Kramden (Jay Leggett) enlists the help of a boombox - wielding Ed Norton (Jim Carrey) to learn how to be hip in order to impress his wife, Alice (Alexandra Wentworth). Examples include learning hip - hop dance moves, and trying to act black to relate to his boss (Tommy Davidson) to get a promotion at work . </Li> <Li> I Love Laquita--Kim Wayans plays the title character in this hip - hop flavored, but still black and white, spoof of the groundbreaking TV show I Love Lucy . Here, Ricky (Jim Carrey) has invited a famous producer over, and Laquita, along with Ethel (Kelly Coffield), hopes to audition for the producer, but soon they run into a case of mistaken identity when a TV repairman comes over before the producer does . Another notable instance of the sketch involved a case of mistaken identity with Billy Dee Williams and Keenen Ivory Wayans, who imitated Williams . </Li> <Li> Juicemania--Jim Carrey plays a surprisingly accurate impersonation of infomercial personality Jay Kordich, who uses an electric juicer to make juice from unlikely sources, such as garbage and soil . </Li> <Li> King: The Early Years (one - time)--In a sketch introduced as part of a fictitious series of Great American Profiles, the narrator leads the audience to believe that Martin Luther King Jr. got his start as a peacemaker between boys preparing to fight in a schoolyard...until "King" is revealed as a younger Don King (Damon Wayans), complete with his iconic hairdo, who promotes the fight and even instigates it . Obviously anachronistic references are also made to boxers Leon Spinks and Gerry Cooney, as well as Robin Givens, ex-wife of Mike Tyson . </Li> <Li> Kurt Singen--Jim Carrey plays a flamboyant environmentalist who is offended by everything he sees . He bears a passing resemblance to Freddie Mercury . At the end of the sketch, either he would be arrested for disturbing the peace or his moped would be stolen, which he would react to by saying "People, we must work together!" </Li> <Li> Lamont Hightower--(David Alan Grier) A flamboyant host presents televised events and programs celebrating black underachievement and the perpetuation of stereotypes, for example television awards for typecast characters such as "sassy neighbors" and "scared brothers on police shows". Another time Lamost hosted a "Miss Black USA" pageant hosted by a ghetto area of an unnamed city . </Li> <Li> Lassie' 90--A mother (Kelly Coffield) and her son (James Carrey) own a pit bull . When they get into trouble they ask their faithful companion to get them something needed to extricate themselves from the situation . The dog soon returns with the desired item, albeit still held by the severed arm of the original owner . </Li> <Li> The Last Orphan--David portrays a 35 - year - old orphan, who never was adopted . He reveals that he is a graduate of the Yale University Acting School . When a couple tells him he is crazy, he comments "My ex-wife told me the same thing", indicating that he has adjusted to adult life but somehow feels his life is incomplete because he grew up without parents . </Li> <Li> Late Night with Mike Tyson--The boxer (Keenen Ivory Wayans) hosts a late - night talk show with Don King (Jamie Foxx) as his sidekick . Elements from The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, Late Night with David Letterman and The Arsenio Hall Show are incorporated into the sketch . </Li> <Li> Lil' Magic--Features Kim Wayans as a very tall girl without talent who always auditions for talent shows, accompanied by her overzealous stage mother, played by David Alan Grier (who is not much in drag as he retains his normal voice and does not wear makeup, which added to the comedy). Her common phrase was "I'm Miss Smile Bright 1987!" Then she makes a big smile . On certain occasions where she did achieve moderate success, she would revel in the newfound wealth with comments such as "Gee, Mama, maybe you can get the liposuction for your butt!" or "Gosh, Mama, maybe now you can get that other breast implant!", prompting the stage mother to reply "Lil' Magic, shut up!" </Li> <Li> Love Connection--Jim Carrey portrays host Chuck Woolery, Kim Coles portrays Robin Givens, and Keenen Ivory Wayans portrays Mike Tyson in a parody of the television series of the same name . This is the very first aired sketch . In the second and final sketch, Kelly Coffield portrayed her character, Andrea Dice Clay while Jim Carrey played Patrick Swayze . </Li> <Li> Magenta Thompson: Acting Teacher--Kelly Coffield plays a middle - aged, semi-oblivious former actress who has taken up teaching the art of acting . In her classes, Magenta gives her all when demonstrating her acting abilities and her strong passion for the profession . However, she doesn't seem completely bothered that she was no more than a bit - part supporting actress who was always met with the line "Outta my way, bitch!" in every movie she appeared in, all of which she delights in showing to her students . </Li> <Li> Making of a Tracy Chapman Song--Tracy Chapman (Kim Wayans) promises her producer she will have a song written by the next day . For inspiration, she looks out the window and incorporates events like an old man getting hit by a bus and a domestic dispute into her new song, which is set to the tune of Chapman's hit "Fast Car". </Li> <Li> Misery II--A pseudosequel to Stephen King's Misery, where a woman is chained to her bed by Rick James (played by Keenan Ivory Wayans) who claims that "there's a party in my pants". When the woman tries to reason with him by saying that she liked MC Hammer's sample of Superfreak, it causes an enraged James to make the sophomoric comment "M.C. Hammer ain't nothing but a stinky pants doody!" In tribute to Misery's infamous sledgehammer scene, James returns with a hammer, saying "It is hammer time!", and the narrator comments "He is one funked - up host". </Li> <Li> Mr. Armstrong--A substitute teacher named Mr. Armstrong, who has two useless arms, one of which is limp, teaches a group of students who torment him by compelling him to perform various tasks with his useless, limp arm such as writing on the chalk board, pointing to places on a map, and covering his heart for the Pledge of Allegiance . Mr. Armstrong eventually snaps, saying "You little trouble makers, I didn't want to have to show you this side of me, but you forced my hand," before using his limp arm to karate chop his desk in half, subduing the students into good behavior . </Li> <Li> Naganawanaland--Kelly Coffield plays a newly appointed U.S. ambassador to an obscure African nation, while David Alan Grier plays her interpreter whose translations don't quite match up to what the new ambassador is actually saying . </Li> <Li> The New Fly Girls--On the May 12, 1991 broadcast, in the opening dance routine right after the credits, Kim Wayans, T'Keyah Keymah, and Kelly Coffield are shown dancing rather than the strangely absent Fly Girls . At the end of the dance routine, the girls nervously back up against the closet on the set's mock rooftop . Suddenly the closet bursts open, and it is revealed that the female cast members tied up the Fly Girls, duct taped their mouths shut, and stuffed them into the closet . Kim, T'Keyah, and Kelly look distressed, until T'Keyah shouts for the DJ to keep playing the song . The three girls finish their dance routine while the bound and gagged Fly Girls struggle to free themselves and (attempt to) shout for help . It appears that not all the Fly Girls were fully prepared for the sketch, because when the closet door opens and they all fall out onto the floor, you can see several Fly Girls still wrapping themselves in the rope or putting the pieces of tape over their mouths . </Li> <Li> Old Train--A parody of the music show Soul Train with Keenan Ivory Wayans as an elderly version of Don Cornelius . During the show's famous "Soul Train Line", some of the dancers include someone in a wheelchair, and pallbearers rolling a casket down the line . In the closing of the sketch, the "Grim Reaper" walks throughout the crowd . </Li> <Li> Passenger 227--Parody of the 1992 movie, Passenger 57, T'Keyah Keymáh portrays Jackée as Sandra from 227, in which the sketch focuses as Sandra, the Airline Security with other people being trapped with airline terrorists . </Li> <Li> Pee - wee's Adult Adventure--Pee - wee Herman (as portrayed by Jim Carrey) shills the new Pee - wee doll, updated with references to Paul Reubens' 1991 arrest for masturbating in a Florida theater . </Li> <Li> Ross Perot--Jim Carrey parodies Ross Perot by showing a program to the people of the NAACP a program acronymed SLAVE (Service Labor Asset Valuable Expenses) on the first episode of the fourth season . Another had Perot buying up airtime on all the channels and appearing in each one, until when the sketch ends and the usual showing of the Fly Girls dancing, Ross Perot is now the DJ of In Living Color . </Li> <Li> Seamus O'Shanty O'Shame--Jay Leggett, who was cast strictly in the fifth and final season, plays an Irish singer whose songs each begin with traditional, uplifting lyrics, but end with graphic lyrics, usually involving death or destruction . Each of his songs ends suddenly with "That's it!" It turns out that Seamus is a mental patient when two men in white uniforms arrive to capture him . </Li> <Li> Sgt . Stacey Koon - Jim Carrey plays a parody of a sergeant in the LA Police Department in the Rodney King incident, who spits when he speaks . </Li> <Li> Sheila Peace--Kelly Coffield plays a woman who has a very stereotyped view of everyone she meets . In one sketch, she plays a realtor attempting to sell an apartment to an Asian couple, telling them the hard wood floors were good for them to practice karate on . When trying to sell the same apartment to an Indian man, she told him there was plenty of room for all his wives to come in and belly dance . </Li> <Li> Snuf & Roam--(Shawn and Marlon Wayans) A pair of immature brothers talk tough, but invariably get put in their place . One sketch dealt with them trying to hit on girls at a club, which Snuf says his full name is Snuffleupagus . Another had the brothers thrown in jail and trying to act tough in front of the other prisoners, only to later find out they were arrested for sneaking into the film Pinocchio without paying . </Li> <Li> Star Trek: The Wrath of Farrakhan--In this spoof of the original Star Trek series and the film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Jim Carrey impersonates Captain Kirk with grossly exaggerated mannerisms, with David Alan Grier playing Mr. Spock and Kim Wayans as Lt. Uhura . Minister Louis Farrakhan (Damon Wayans) boards the Enterprise and convinces the minority and alien crew members to mutiny, becomes captain, and directs the Enterprise to 125th Street in Harlem, New York to Sylvia's Soul Food Shack . </Li> <Li> Ted Turner's Very Colorized Classics - Jim Carrey portrays film enthusiast Turner, only instead of colorizing black and white films, he replaces the white stars of those films with black actors . For example, one sketch replaces Humphrey Bogart with Billy Dee Williams (Keenan Ivory Wayans) in Casablanca . </Li> <Li> Three Champs And A Baby / Little Lady--Muhammad Ali (David Alan Grier), Sugar Ray Leonard (Tommy Davidson) and Mike Tyson (Keenan Ivory Wayans) care for a baby girl (a teenage girl in the "Little Lady" version). Tyson peppers his conversation with the words "ecstatic" and "ludicrous", and is punched by Ali whenever the doorbell (actually a boxing ring bell) is rung . </Li> <Li> Timbuk: The Last Runaway Slave--Damon Wayans plays the descendant of cave - dwelling runaway slaves, unaware of changes in the world around him since the 1860s . Before his "Pappy", who raised 3 generations of runaway slaves, passes away, he tells Timbuk it's time to leave the cave . After exiting the cave Timbuk encounters a businessman (David Alan Grier) who he thinks is a "free black". A white jogger running by bumps into the businessman . Timbuk immediately apologizes while the businessman stands up to the jogger and the two exchange words . Timbuck grabs the businessman telling him white folk like to be right even if they are wrong . The jogger leaves and a few moments later dogs are heard barking . Timbuk grabs the businessman and goes behind a bush . A white women with two small dogs walks by . Timbuk tells the businessman to stop staring at her as she walks away . The businessman tells him he can have a white woman if he so desires . The jogger returns with police to take the businessman away due to the earlier altercation . Timbuk throws himself down full force on the ground begging for mercy . When the police tell Timbuk he is not under arrest and is free to go, he believes he has been freed . The skit ended with a cliffhanger that was never resolved . </Li> <Li> Umbilical Barry--Jim Carrey plays a young college age kid still attached to his overprotective mother (Carol Rosenthal playing the stereotype of the Jewish mother) literally by the umbilical cord . </Li> <Li> Unpoetic Justice--T'Keyah Crystal Keymah portrays R&B / Pop singer Janet Jackson, Jamie Foxx as rapper Tupac Shakur, and Anne - Marie Johnson as Regina King, in the popular 1993 film, Poetic Justice . This dubious parody reenacts scenes from the film, such as Janet and Tupac's verbally abusive arguing, and mostly voice - overs done by Janet Jackson, who has been scolded by Tupac, by never "bein' in the' hood". </Li> <Li> Vortex of Fear - A take - off on The Twilight Zone, with Tommy Davidson as the Rod Serling-esque narrator . In the sketch, a man (Jim Carrey) is hypnotized so that he clucks like a chicken . Before the hypnotism can be reversed, the hypnotist (David Alan Grier) suddenly drops dead . Unable to communicate normally (even his writing consists of clucks), the man ends up homeless . </Li> <Li> Vortex 2--A parody of tampon commercials with Kelly Coffield and Kim Coles sunbathing at a swimming pool . Coffield tells Coles that she'd like to take a swim, but that her period prevents her from doing so . After using Vortex 2 at Coles' suggestion, Coffield returns and dives into the pool, causing the water in the pool to vanish . </Li> </Ul> <Li> All Up In The Family--A black version of the 1970s CBS sitcom, All in the Family, which showed a black conservative Archie Bunker commenting on the ridiculousness of 1990s fads to his wife Edith . </Li> <Li> Bob Jackson, Karate Instructor--Jim Carrey plays a karate instructor, who claims to be a former world champion, teaching a self - defense class for women . He proceeds to get stabbed twice accidentally by Kelly Coffield while attempting to show how to defend against a knife attack, and is eventually unmasked as a fake by the other students in the class . </Li> <Li> The Buttmans--A family modeled after The Cosby Show characters, only they have buttocks on their foreheads . In one episode, their daughter brings home her boyfriend, Richard Dickerson, played by Jim Carrey, who has a very long nose that resembles a penis . The Buttmans fail to see the jokes directed at them, and in the episode where the daughter is dating, they comment on interracial relationships, rather than the fact his nose is uniquely shaped . </Li>

Kim wayans i ain't one to gossip