<P> After the Green Goblin murders Gwen in The Amazing Spider - Man #121, Mary Jane attempts to comfort Peter . Peter, who is distraught over the loss of Gwen Stacy, angrily confronts MJ about her seemingly flighty and carefree attitude . He questions her ability to ever care about people like him and Gwen, and states "You wouldn't be sorry if your own mother died," unaware that her mother had actually died . Mary Jane is hurt by Peter's comments . She attempts to leave, but hesitates as she approaches the door, and ultimately chooses to stay with him . This served as a turning point in their relationship, and over the next couple of years, she and Peter become very close friends . Eventually, upon realizing the feelings that they share for one another, they decide to take their relationship to the next level . Their relationship has a few initial hurdles, such as MJ's hot temper and Peter's always dashing off to be Spider - Man . </P> <P> Despite loving Peter, MJ does not wish to be tied down, and when she allows the relationship to progress too far, she is left with a difficult decision when Peter proposes to her . After taking a short time to consider, she turns him down . Following a series of traumatic experiences involving Peter's absences and his costumed alter ego endangering his Aunt May, a spiritually exhausted MJ leaves New York for several months . Peter meanwhile dates other women, most notably Felicia Hardy . </P> <P> MJ eventually returns, her behavior showing a marked change with her abandonment of her false front . Following an attack on Peter by Puma, she breaks down and admits her knowledge of Peter's secret identity in The Amazing Spider - Man #257 . After learning of her own family history in The Amazing Spider - Man #259, Peter finds a new respect for her and begins to truly understand her . MJ makes it clear to Peter that knowing his identity changes nothing about her feelings, and that she only loves him as a friend . </P> <P> Despite the one - shot graphic novel Amazing Spider - Man: Parallel Lives and Untold Tales of Spider - Man #16 revealing that Mary Jane discovered Peter's secret when she noticed Spider - Man climbing out of Peter's bedroom window after his uncle's murder, many comics published before this revelation claimed that she had simply "figured it out", with the details of how and when left ambiguous to the reader . </P>

When does mary jane find out peter parker is spider man