<P> The dubious efficiency of "F Troop" is clarified in the show's opening theme . The words of the song (by Irving Taylor) were used only in the first season's opening credits (except for the pilot episode), along with comical F Troop battle scenes intercut with stock Hollywood Western footage . The second season's opening credits used only the instrumental ending part, over still cartoon scenes and caricatures of the main cast . </P> <Ul> <Li> Captain Wilton Parmenter (Ken Berry)--The so - called "Scourge of the West ." As military governor of the territory and commander of Fort Courage, he is credited with keeping the peace (which is in fact really kept by O'Rourke's secret treaty with the Hekawi tribe--- though other tribes seem to fear his reputation . Chief Wild Eagle knows him by a different title: "The Great White Pigeon ." When the need to keep up appearances arises, the troopers and the Hekawis stage mock battles to fool Parmenter and outsiders . Parmenter is successful at "keeping the peace ." He just doesn't know why . He is well - meaning and sweet natured, although essentially clueless and a bit gullible . He also invariably is kind and encouraging to his men, and always bravely leads them into action, albeit ineptly . A stickler for regulation and proper military conduct, he checks the Army Manual for even the oddest situations such as . "If a soldier is captured by horse ." A perpetual klutz, Parmenter forever is jabbing himself, pinching his fingers in or on something, banging into, tripping over or knocking things over . He cannot dismount a horse properly and frequently becomes entangled with his ceremonial sword . Parmenter, originally from Philadelphia, comes from a "proud family" with a "great military tradition ." Among his ancestors his first cousin Major Achilles Parmenter, second cousin Lt. Colonel Hercules Parmenter, uncle Colonel Jupiter Parmenter (Rod McGaughy), his father General Thor Parmenter and his great - grandfather Major Hannibal Parmenter--who was with Gen. George Washington at Valley Forge . By contrast, Corporal Agarn's great - grandfather was a deserter . Jeanette Nolan played Parmenter's visiting mother (no first name given) in "A Fort's Best Friend is Not a Mother". When his sister Daphne Parmenter (Patty Regan) visits the fort her eyes are on Private Dobbs . O'Rourke frequently calls Captain Parmenter "the Old Man" in the sense that he is their leader though Parmenter usually is surprised at being called that because he is fairly young . In "The Majority of Wilton" (near the end of the series), he turns down a promotion to major because it would mean being reassigned to a new command and leaving "F Troop ." </Li> <Li> Sergeant Morgan Sylvester O'Rourke (Forrest Tucker)--The Sgt . Bilko of his day (as Agarn said to O'Rourke: "When it comes to shifty, sneaky, double dealing...you're the tops"). Originally from Steubenville, Ohio, he has been in the Army at least twenty - five years and it took him either 10 years to become a sergeant or has been a sergeant for 22 years as of his 25th anniversary . His brother's name is Morton O'Rourke . O'Rourke's business dealings involve illegally running the local town saloon and an exclusive - rights treaty with the local Indian tribe (the Hekawi) to sell their "authentic" souvenirs to tourists and for the commercial market through the shady, undercover O'Rourke Enterprises operation . He also tries to find ways to fleece the men out of their pay through different schemes such as finding the men mail - order brides . Though most of his business schemes usually fail, he apparently is the only competent soldier in F Troop . It is mentioned that O'Rourke is a veteran of the Mexican--American War, but nothing is said about the Civil War . In "The Sergeant and the Kid", the tall and rugged O'Rourke shows his romantic side by taking an interest in the widow Molly Walker played by (Pippa Scott) and her son Joey played by (Peter Robbins). In "Don't Look Now, But One of Our Cannons is Missing," O'Rourke claims he saved Agarn's life twice--once from drowning and once when a rattlesnake bit him . (Ironically Forrest Tucker had actually served in the US Cavalry prior to World War II and played a similar "O'Rourke" cavalry sergeant on Gunsmoke). Tucker's wife at the time, Mary Fisk, appeared in the series twice . She played Squirrel Girl in "Lieutenant O'Rourke, Front and Center" (which involves O'Rourke being promoted to lieutenant) and Kissing Squaw in "What Are You Doing After the Massacre?". </Li> <Li> Corporal Randolph Agarn (Larry Storch)--Randolph Agarn is O'Rourke's somewhat dimwitted sidekick and business partner in the shady O'Rourke Enterprises (his name is a play on both Randolph Scott and John Agar who were cowboy stars). The character Agarn, originally from Passaic, New Jersey, took six years after enlistment to become a lowly corporal . At the time of the series, Agarn has been in the cavalry for 10 years, and has been posted to Fort Courage for the last four, apparently spending the Civil War years at Fort Courage . He has impersonated Generals George Washington and Ulysses Grant . However, in dual roles, Storch played numerous lookalike relatives of Agarn, including his French - Canadian cousin Lucky Pierre, his Russian cousin Dmitri Agarnoff and his Mexican bandito cousin Pancho Agarnado, known as "El Diablo ." (In the same episode he also played Granny Agarn, Uncle Gaylord Agarn of Tallahassee and Pancho's sister Carmen Agarnado). Confrontational and often overly - emotional in every respect, Agarn frequently collapses in tears with the phrases "Oh, Cap'n!" or "Oh, Sarge!" (depending on whose chest he buries his head in). To get the men to attention, he barks out his trademark loud and exaggerated (but unintelligible) "Aaaaa - aaahh" command . Whenever he becomes frustrated by something one of the troopers does wrong (which is often), short - tempered Agarn hits him with his hat which, unlike everyone else's, is white . A hypochondriac, Agarn thinks he's contracted the illnesses he reads or hears about or others around him have (including a horse). One running gag during the second season involves Agarn's delayed reactions, which usually ran: Agarn would make a suggestion; O'Rourke would respond: "Agarn, I don't know why everyone says you're so dumb!" At the beginning of the next scene (which could be several hours or days after the original comment), Agarn, suddenly indignant, demands: "Who says I'm dumb?" Agarn was briefly promoted to Sergeant in the episode "Lieutenant O'Rourke, Front and Center". Larry Storch was nominated for an Emmy Award for "Outstanding performance by an actor in a leading role in a comedy series" in 1967 . </Li> <Li> Bugler Private Hannibal Shirley Dobbs (James Hampton)--F Troop's inept bugler, originally from New Orleans, who can only play "Yankee Doodle" and "Dixie" with regularity . Standard U.S. Army tunes like "Reveille", "Assembly" and "Retreat" are only occasionally played competently . One episode had him playing a song, which Wrangler Jane says is a lovely rendition of "Old Kentucky Home", only for him to say he'd been trying to play "Reveille". A southern "mama's boy", he is also Captain Parmenter's personal assistant, as well as serving in the fort's cannon crew--usually with disastrous results . Private Dobbs is a personal thorn in Agarn's side, with his regular taunts resulting in Agarn's frequent retort, "I'm warning you, Dobbs!", or threatening him with a court - martial . Dobbs learned how to use a lasso on his mama's alligator farm . Dobbs was briefly promoted to Corporal in the episode "Lieutenant O'Rourke, Front and Center". </Li> <Li> Trooper Vanderbilt (Joe Brooks)--The fort's lookout who seems all but blind even with glasses (20 / 900 in each eye, according to Agarn) and answers questions from the lookout tower about what he sees with incongruous responses such as, "No, thank you Agarn . I just had my coffee ." He once allowed two Indians wearing feather head - dresses to enter the fort unchallenged . Asked why, he replied, "I thought they were turkeys ." Yet in another episode he mistakes a group of turkeys for attacking Indians . In one episode he shoots his pistol in a crowded barracks--and manages to miss everyone . Vanderbilt was a bustle inspector in a dress factory before joining the Army . In the running gag that brings the lookout tower crashing to the ground, it is the heavyset Vanderbilt who comes down with it . </Li> <Li> Trooper Duffy (Bob Steele)--An aged old time cavalryman with a limp, the result of his "old Alamo injury" acting up again . Duffy claims to be the lone survivor of the siege of the Alamo in 1836 and loves to recount his exploits alongside Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie, "shoulder to shoulder and backs to the wall" (Steele was a 1930s and' 40s Western movie and serial star; this running gag Alamo reference was an in - joke gag on Steele who 40 years before F Troop appeared in a 1926 movie about Davy Crockett at the Alamo). However, no one ever seems to take his claim seriously and he may be engaged in telling tall tales . Parmenter discovered that Duffy is listed as dead in his service record (as Sergeant O'Rourke noted to Captain Parmenter, Duffy's service record might need some updating). </Li> </Ul> <Li> Captain Wilton Parmenter (Ken Berry)--The so - called "Scourge of the West ." As military governor of the territory and commander of Fort Courage, he is credited with keeping the peace (which is in fact really kept by O'Rourke's secret treaty with the Hekawi tribe--- though other tribes seem to fear his reputation . Chief Wild Eagle knows him by a different title: "The Great White Pigeon ." When the need to keep up appearances arises, the troopers and the Hekawis stage mock battles to fool Parmenter and outsiders . Parmenter is successful at "keeping the peace ." He just doesn't know why . He is well - meaning and sweet natured, although essentially clueless and a bit gullible . He also invariably is kind and encouraging to his men, and always bravely leads them into action, albeit ineptly . A stickler for regulation and proper military conduct, he checks the Army Manual for even the oddest situations such as . "If a soldier is captured by horse ." A perpetual klutz, Parmenter forever is jabbing himself, pinching his fingers in or on something, banging into, tripping over or knocking things over . He cannot dismount a horse properly and frequently becomes entangled with his ceremonial sword . Parmenter, originally from Philadelphia, comes from a "proud family" with a "great military tradition ." Among his ancestors his first cousin Major Achilles Parmenter, second cousin Lt. Colonel Hercules Parmenter, uncle Colonel Jupiter Parmenter (Rod McGaughy), his father General Thor Parmenter and his great - grandfather Major Hannibal Parmenter--who was with Gen. George Washington at Valley Forge . By contrast, Corporal Agarn's great - grandfather was a deserter . Jeanette Nolan played Parmenter's visiting mother (no first name given) in "A Fort's Best Friend is Not a Mother". When his sister Daphne Parmenter (Patty Regan) visits the fort her eyes are on Private Dobbs . O'Rourke frequently calls Captain Parmenter "the Old Man" in the sense that he is their leader though Parmenter usually is surprised at being called that because he is fairly young . In "The Majority of Wilton" (near the end of the series), he turns down a promotion to major because it would mean being reassigned to a new command and leaving "F Troop ." </Li> <Li> Sergeant Morgan Sylvester O'Rourke (Forrest Tucker)--The Sgt . Bilko of his day (as Agarn said to O'Rourke: "When it comes to shifty, sneaky, double dealing...you're the tops"). Originally from Steubenville, Ohio, he has been in the Army at least twenty - five years and it took him either 10 years to become a sergeant or has been a sergeant for 22 years as of his 25th anniversary . His brother's name is Morton O'Rourke . O'Rourke's business dealings involve illegally running the local town saloon and an exclusive - rights treaty with the local Indian tribe (the Hekawi) to sell their "authentic" souvenirs to tourists and for the commercial market through the shady, undercover O'Rourke Enterprises operation . He also tries to find ways to fleece the men out of their pay through different schemes such as finding the men mail - order brides . Though most of his business schemes usually fail, he apparently is the only competent soldier in F Troop . It is mentioned that O'Rourke is a veteran of the Mexican--American War, but nothing is said about the Civil War . In "The Sergeant and the Kid", the tall and rugged O'Rourke shows his romantic side by taking an interest in the widow Molly Walker played by (Pippa Scott) and her son Joey played by (Peter Robbins). In "Don't Look Now, But One of Our Cannons is Missing," O'Rourke claims he saved Agarn's life twice--once from drowning and once when a rattlesnake bit him . (Ironically Forrest Tucker had actually served in the US Cavalry prior to World War II and played a similar "O'Rourke" cavalry sergeant on Gunsmoke). Tucker's wife at the time, Mary Fisk, appeared in the series twice . She played Squirrel Girl in "Lieutenant O'Rourke, Front and Center" (which involves O'Rourke being promoted to lieutenant) and Kissing Squaw in "What Are You Doing After the Massacre?". </Li>

Where was the tv show f troop filmed