<P> Whedon made a conscious effort to focus on Willow and Tara's relationship instead of either's identity as a lesbian or the coming out process . When Willow discloses to Buffy what she feels for Tara, she indicates that she has fallen in love with Tara, not that she is a lesbian, and avoids categorizing herself . Some critics regard this as a failure on Willow's part to be strong; Em McAvan interprets this to mean that Willow may be bisexual . Scholar Farah Mendlesohn asserts that Willow's realization that she is in love with Tara allows viewers to re-interpret Willow's relationship with Buffy; in the first three seasons, Willow is often disappointed that she is not a higher priority to Buffy, and even after Willow enters a relationship with Tara, still desires to feel integral to Buffy's cause and the Scooby Gang . </P> <P> Willow's progression has been noted to be unique in television . Her relationship with Tara coincides with the development of her magical abilities becoming much more profound . By the seventh season, she is the most powerful person in Buffy's circle . Jessica Ford at PopMatters asserts that Willow's sexuality and her magical abilities are connected and represented by her relationships . In her unrequited attraction to Xander, she has no power . With Oz, she has some that gives her the confidence she sorely lacks, but his departure leaves her unsure of herself . Only when she meets Tara do her magical abilities flourish; to Ford, sexuality and magic are both empowering agents in Willow's story arc . David Bianculli in the New York Daily News writes that Willow's progression is "unlike anything else I can recall on regular prime - time television: a character evolving naturally over four seasons of stories and arriving at a place of sexual rediscovery". </P> <P> Not all viewers considered Willow and Tara's relationship a positive development . Some fans loyal to Willow reacted angrily as she chose to be with Tara when Oz made himself available, and they lashed out at Tara and Amber Benson on the fansite message boards . Whedon replied sardonically, "we're going to shift away from this whole lifestyle choice that Willow has made . Just wipe the slate . From now on, Willow will no longer be a Jew . And I think we can all breathe easier ." However, he seriously explained his motivation, writing "My show is about emotion . Love is the most powerful, messy, delightful and dangerous emotion...Willow's in love . I think it's cool ." Hannigan was also positive about the way the character and her relationship with Tara was written: "It is not about being controversial or making a statement . I think the show is handling it really nicely . It's about two people who care about each other ." </P> <P> Contrasting with some of the more sexual relationships of the other characters, Willow and Tara demonstrate a sentimental, soft, and consistent affection for each other . Some of this was pragmatic: the show was restricted in what it could present to viewers . Willow and Tara did not kiss until the fifth season in an episode that diverted the focus away from the display of affection when Buffy's mother dies in "The Body". Before this, much of their sexuality is represented by allusions to witchcraft; spells doubled for physical affection such as an erotic ritual in "Who Are You?" where Willow and Tara chant and perspire in a circle of light until Willow falls back on a pillow gasping and moaning . Within the Buffy universe, magic is portrayed in a mostly female realm . As opposed to it being evil, it is an earth - bound force that is most proficiently harvested by women . The treatment of the lesbian relationship as integral to magic, representative of each other (love is magic, magic is love), earned the series some critical commentary from conservative Christians . To avoid large - scale criticism, scenes had to be shot several different ways because censors would not allow some types of action on screen . In the fourth and fifth seasons, the characters could be shown on a bed, but not under the covers . Hannigan noted the inconsistent standards with the other relationships on the show: "you've got Spike and Harmony just going at it like rabbits, so it's very hypocritical". As a couple, Willow and Tara are treated by the rest of the Scoobies with acceptance and little fanfare . Susan Driver writes that younger viewers especially appreciate that Willow and Tara are able to be affectionate without becoming overly sexual, thus making them objects of fantasy for male enjoyment . Willow and Tara's influence on specifically younger female viewers is, according to Driver, "remarkable". </P>

When does willow find out she a witch