<P> The story proper begins in AD 932 (around 400 years later than an Arthurian tale should). King Arthur and his squire, Patsy, travel throughout Britain searching for men to join the Knights of the Round Table . Arthur stops at a castle, where the guards ask how Arthur found two coconut halves Patsy uses to simulate the sound of horses galloping . Arthur leaves after his encounter becomes a discussion about African and European swallows . Arthur encounters a Black Knight, who will not let them cross a small bridge . A sword fight ensues, with Arthur gaining an increasing advantage, but the Black Knight continues fighting--despite having his arms and legs severed . The Black Knight declares the battle a draw . </P> <P> The villagers of a small town come to Sir Bedevere the Wise, claiming they have captured a witch . Bedevere puts the woman through a test, and she is revealed to be a witch because she weighs the same as a duck . Arthur dubs Bedevere as a Knight of the Round Table, and they are later joined by Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Galahad the Pure, and Sir Robin the Not - Quite - So - Brave - as - Sir - Lancelot . The knights reach Camelot, but following a song - and - dance cutaway, Arthur decides not to enter, because "it is a silly place". The group encounters God, who instructs them to seek the Holy Grail . </P> <P> Their first stop is a French - controlled castle . One of the soldiers tells the knights that they already have a grail, then taunts them with ridiculous insults . After a failed invasion of the castle, with the French soldiers throwing animals at them, the knights try sneaking into the castle in a Trojan Rabbit, but they forget to hide inside it . The rabbit is catapulted at them and crushes one of the knights' servants . Arthur decides the group should break into smaller groups to seek the Grail . A modern - day historian, describing the Arthurian legends, is abruptly killed by a knight on horseback, triggering a police investigation . </P> <P> The knights encounter various perils . Arthur and Bedevere attempt to satisfy the strange requests of the dreaded Knights Who Say Ni . Sir Robin avoids a fight with the Three - headed Giant by running away while the heads are arguing . Sir Galahad is led by a grail - shaped beacon to Castle Anthrax, populated by women who wish to perform sexual favours for him, but to Galahad's chagrin, he is "rescued" by Lancelot . Sir Lancelot finds a note tied to an arrow, and after reading it assaults a wedding party at Swamp Castle, believing them to be holding a lady against her will . He discovers that an effeminate prince sent the note, and another song - and - dance routine occurs . </P>

Monty python and the holy grail who killed the historian