<P> Despite loving Peter, MJ does not wish to be tied down, and when she allows the relationship to progress too far, she is left with a difficult decision when Peter proposes to her . After taking a short time to consider, she turns him down . Following a series of traumatic experiences involving Peter's absences and his costumed alter ego endangering his Aunt May, a spiritually exhausted MJ leaves New York for several months . Peter meanwhile dates other women, most notably Felicia Hardy . </P> <P> MJ eventually returns, her behavior showing a marked change with her abandonment of her false front . Following an attack on Peter by Puma, she breaks down and admits her knowledge of Peter's secret identity in The Amazing Spider - Man #257 . After learning of her own family history in The Amazing Spider - Man #259, Peter finds a new respect for her and begins to truly understand her . MJ makes it clear to Peter that knowing his identity changes nothing about her feelings, and that she only loves him as a friend . </P> <P> Despite the one - shot graphic novel Amazing Spider - Man: Parallel Lives and Untold Tales of Spider - Man #16 revealing that Mary Jane discovered Peter's secret when she noticed Spider - Man climbing out of Peter's bedroom window after his uncle's murder, many comics published before this revelation claimed that she had simply "figured it out", with the details of how and when left ambiguous to the reader . </P> <P> After yet another period of reconsidering his priorities in life, Peter contemplates letting go of the Spider - Man mantle, with Mary Jane backing the decision, but his relationship with Felicia Hardy soon resumes . Feeling lost and guilty, Peter visits Mary Jane and apologizes with an awkward kiss before heading to Berlin with Ned Leeds . </P>

When did mary jane find out peter was spider man