<P> John James "Mr. Big" Preston is a recurring fictional character in the HBO series Sex and the City, portrayed by Chris Noth . He is the primary on - and - off love interest of the series' protagonist, Carrie Bradshaw, who usually simply refers to him as "Big". </P> <P> According to accounts in the press, the Mr. Big character was based on publishing executive Ron Galotti, former publisher of GQ and Talk . Bushnell told New York Magazine in 2004, "He was one of those New York guys with a big personality--you just notice him as soon as he walks in the room," and "I called him Mr. Big because he was like a big man on campus ." Big appeared in Comcast's list of TV's Most Intriguing Characters . </P> <P> "Big" appears in the first episode of Sex and the City as a very attractive stranger who helps Carrie pick up the contents of her purse (notably cosmetics and condoms) after she is accidentally bumped by a stranger on the streets of Manhattan . The nickname "Big" refers to his status as a "major tycoon, major dreamboat, and majorly out of (Carrie's) league," according to the show's dialogue . (His real name is not revealed to viewers until the final episode of the series; in a running joke, whenever Carrie is about to introduce Mr. Big to another character onscreen, she is interrupted before she can say his name .) When Carrie and her friend Samantha bump into Big at a nightclub, Samantha tries to hit on him, but he tactfully declines . In the first few episodes, he and Carrie frequently bump into one another, until finally Big suggests the two of them should "bump into one another on purpose". Carrie agrees and thus begins their on - again - off - again relationship . Big calls Carrie by the nickname "Kid". When Carrie asks Big if he has ever been in love, he replies, "Ab - so - fucking - lutely". </P> <P> Carrie eventually falls in love with Big, despite his fear of commitment . His reserved communication on relationship issues and Carrie's coping with the ambiguity are frequent plot devices . Carrie repeatedly returns to the relationship even though he is clearly emotionally unavailable to her and unable to meet her needs . Although it appears Mr. Big was emotionally crippled by a series of failed relationships, the subject is often glossed over as him simply being selfish . Mr. Big's tendency to take major emotional steps in the relationship more slowly than Carrie is often portrayed as emotional unavailability rather than the caution born of a repeatedly broken heart . Carrie's misinterpretation of Mr. Big's inner turmoil as unreachable distance often creates larger issues because of her misplaced feelings of unworthiness, and due to her propensity for not communicating truthfully until too late, results in a lot of painful misunderstandings . Carrie accepts no responsibility for her impatience and lack of empathy, often issuing ultimatums (i.e. first break - up), and Big can't shed his ingrained emotional pessimism to fully embrace Carrie as a partner . They break up repeatedly, over the course of two years for those reasons, before Big marries a gorgeous twenty - six - year - old socialite and Ralph Lauren employee named Natasha (Bridget Moynahan) after dating her for only five months . This hurts Carrie, as she wonders why he could take steps with Natasha that he refused to take with Carrie . It becomes obvious later that Mr. Big had simply skipped many of the important emotional steps before marriage, many of which he had definitely, if slowly, taken with Carrie, creating the problems of distance and unavailability between Big and Natasha, which Carrie had so feared in their own relationship . </P>

When do we find out big's name